The rocks seem so far below, hard, pointy, and uninviting. I wasn't scared until I looked down just now, and now I'm wondering if this was such a good idea. Now I'm wondering if I've got the guts to do it.
But just think of afterwards, after all this is over. Peace. Uninterrupted quiet. No more answering questions or trying to please people I don't really care about. I won't have to pretend. I can finally rest and not feel the pain anymore.
The screech of a gull catches my attention as he hovers over me, looking at this strange creature, this broken shell of a person standing at the edge. Wind whips my hair in my eyes, and I absently brush it aside as I stare back at the bird. Is he challenging me to do it? Or does he think I should step back and find a way to stay?
Stupid bird. What does he know?
I can feel the softness of the grass underfoot. Little tiny rocks and dirt scratch against my skin as I dig my toes into the earth and watch as the gravels bounce their way down and plummet to the bottom. Down. Way, way down. I breathe in the salty, misty air. There is no sun this morning, only angry grey clouds rolling across an endless sky and pressing against the dark, inky black horizon as it meets the water in the distance beyond my sight. I look down again and see the waves smashing relentlessly against the jagged rocks, foam frothing as the tide flows back out again.
Take me with you...
I close my eyes and see no more. My heart is pounding so hard in my chest, I can hear the blood rushing through my ears, louder and more urgently, until it's all I can hear now. I feel my hands start to shake, and the war drum beating in my head pulsates at a desperate pace. My lips part slightly as I exhale, my breath rising up and mixing with the salt air, invisible vapor that was once a part of me, vanishing into the atmosphere around me, and a silent tear splashes on my cheek. I let go and start to lean forward...
The air is cold as I fall. I can feel it rushing up at me, pressing against me as I move faster and faster. It's almost like flying. I'm finally flying! So free...
You know, this isn't so sca--
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